project3one.org

abide

2012-01-23T14:15:00.000-06:00

Life is an amazing journey... so many ups, downs, twists and turns. We don't know what life will bring from day to day, but we can be comforted in knowing we have a Heavenly Father who is guiding us.

I don't know about you, but I spent a lot of my life trying to "do" so many things to try and satisfy my soul or overcome different challenges. Since my diagnosis this past August God has continually been showing me it's not about what I "do" for Him. He asks me to abide in Him.

I'm comforted by what John said in chapter 15...

⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

⁹ “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

No matter where you're at in your journey I encourage you to turn you gaze to Jesus and abide in Him. Allow Him to fill your heart.

God's power in our brokenness

2011-12-19T11:57:00.003-06:00

Here's an excerpt from The Good and Beautiful God by James Bryan Smith...

Your brokenness does not define you. You are one in whom Christ dwells. You were meant to house the fullness of God. Your glory is not in what you do, but in who you are.

Both the wounded and the legalists need to hear an even deeper paradox. It is in our weakness that God's power is revealed. The broken feel they have nothing to offer; legalists feel their perfection is what makes them valuable. Both are wrong. We minister out of our brokenness. We heal others through our vulnerability because that is where Christ shines most brightly. Then we can offer them the one thing people most need: Jesus.

awaken

2011-12-14T11:13:00.004-06:00

Nothing beats the beauty of a sunrise... to watch the sun begin to peak over the horizon and watch the glow of the sun bring light to the darkness. It's incredible to witness the miraculous life that emerges as the sun is in full bloom.

That's how our souls are when we surrender our hearts fully to God. He awakens us. We begin to have different perspectives, we ache for what God's heart aches for, we yearn to live this life to bring glory to Him.

Psalm 57:7-8 tells us "My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music. Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth."

Awaken our hearts God!

easy and light

2011-12-11T19:19:00.004-06:00

Do you ever over complicate things in your life? I know I do. I have a tendency to worry, obsess, and do my best to control situations around me. Ironically that's the complete opposite of what God tells me to do.

In Matthew 11 Jesus says... "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

If you feel overwhelmed, confused, or like you've got it all together I encourage you to think about how you desire to live your life. God didn't want us to be an anxiety driven society. He desires to give us peace that surpasses understanding. Take His yoke upon you and watch His peace wash over you!

listen

2011-10-28T19:58:00.010-05:00

When you're diagnosed with cancer so many people around you ask what they can do. They desperately want to help any way they can.

To the caregivers, friends, and loved ones out there... one of the biggest gifts you can give to us is a listening ear. There's so many things going through our minds. It's nice to have an outlet just to let it out without someone trying to give their advice.

I can't explain how valuable it is to have a non-judgmental place to be raw with the ups and downs cancer brings. You don't know how healing it can be letting all the stuff that's inside us out. Be a safe place!

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak..." James 1:19

don't judge a book by its cover

2011-10-28T19:58:00.006-05:00

Do you ever make judgements based on appearances?

It's interesting how we can make false assumptions when we "judge a book by its cover." We see it time and time again; whether it's forming opinions in our minds based on the way a person dresses, or the way they wear their hair, or if they have tattoos, or if they drive a certain kind of car.

Unfortunately we can short change God when we do this because He looks at the heart. God told Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:7 "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

There are hurting, wounded, brokenhearted, and sick people all around us longing for someone to notice. They desperately want someone to pray with them, extend a helping hand, or take time to show they care by listening and offering an encouraging word. God calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Give us eyes to see the hearts of men!

your story is significant

2011-10-26T11:45:00.001-05:00

Regardless of your diagnosis or your treatment plan your story is significant. I hear survivors time and time again try to "out do" each other with how much suffering they had to endure. The reality is each one of us has a unique and significant story. Your story is your story... period!

Embrace where you are and allow yourself to work through the healing process in your own way. That's why we're individuals. We all work through things in different ways... and that's okay!

No matter where you are in your healing be encouraged that God is there to comfort you each step of the way.

talking with our kids about our diagnosis

2011-10-18T16:36:00.003-05:00

A cancer diagnosis has a profound impact on the entire family. There are so many decisions to make and so many emotions to cope with; and if you have children it can be a challenge to determine how much to tell them.

Here are CancerCare's 10 tips for communicating with your children:

Give your children accurate, age-appropriate information about cancer.
Explain the treatment plan and how it will affect their lives.
Answer your children's questions as accurately as possible.
Reassure your children.
Let them know they can turn to other members of your support system, too.
Allow your children to participate in your care.
Encourage your children to express their feelings.
Reassure your children that they will be cared for.
To the extent possible, make communicating with your children a priority.
As always, show your children a lot of love and affection.

it's not just about "positive thinking"

2011-10-12T10:03:00.003-05:00

According to the CURE (Cancer Updates, Research & Education) Magazine as we begin to tell others about our diagnosis, we may feel pressure to maintain a positive attitude, which can be especially difficult when we are scared, anxious or not feeling well.

Experts agree that adopting a "positive at all costs" approach can add a huge burden. No compelling evidence exists that emotional outlook affects survival, yet people unaffected by cancer often expect and encourage those with the disease to exhibit a positive approach despite how we are really feeling.

People's reactions to cancer differ greatly. Just remember that it's your and your family's experience and there is no need to feel you have to please others by the way you cope.

dealing with the emotions

2011-10-11T12:18:00.004-05:00

According to the CURE ( Cancer Updates, Research & Education) Magazine your emotional reaction to cancer will depend on various factors that include your support system, coping style and perception of illness.

As we struggle with issues of diagnosis and treatment, we may also face the social pressures that come from well-meaning friends who want more than anything for us to be OK. Psycho-oncologists address the emotional needs of cancer patients and have determined that a healthy adjustment to a cancer diagnosis includes three phases - initial response, distress, and adjustment - that will take us through a normal grieving process.

The initial response to a cancer diagnosis is often shock and disbelief, followed by a period of distress characterized by mixed symptoms of anxiety and depression. As we learn about our options and begin to see a treatment plan form, we will enter into the adjustment mode.

During this early time, we may experience persistent sadness, in addition to:

Anxiety and depression
Decreased interest in sexual activity
Fatigue
Difficulty concentrating, remembering and/or making decisions
Insomnia or oversleeping
Weight and appetite loss
Restlessness and/or irritability

Many of these symptoms might be considered unhealthy, but for a person with cancer they are a normal part of the process of dealing with a new reality.

Each person is on their own journey. Be encouraged to cope the best way you know how. If you're not sure, then I highly recommend seeking advice from a counselor.

restoration

2011-10-09T11:58:00.006-05:00

I'm rereading Captivating by Stasi and John Eldredge. John paraphrases a prophecy in Isaiah 61. He made a good point that this is the passage Jesus pointed to when He began His ministry on Earth. Of all the passages He could have chosen, this is the one He picked on the day He first publicly announced His mission.

God has sent me on a mission.

I have some great news for you.

God has sent me to restore and release something.

And that something is you.

I am here to give you back your heart and set you free.

I am furious at the enemy who did this to you, and i will fight against him.

Let me comfort you.

For, dear one, i will bestow beauty upon you

where you have known only devastation.

Joy, in the places of your deep sorrow.

And I will robe your heart in thankful praise

in exchange for your resignation and despair.

It's amazing this is still true for us today. God can and will comfort us and release us... if we allow Him.

Heal us!

God is good... all the time

2011-10-08T16:25:00.002-05:00

Do you believe that?

It's easy to say, but if you really think about it... do you truly believe it?

Several years ago I read the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. One part that really resonated with me talked about if God called you to be a martyr, would you still think He's good?

For months I wrestled with the question. I thought about Paul, Stephen, Peter, John and many more. I wondered what it would have been like to be them. Then I felt like God asked me, "if you had to suffer would you still think I'm good?"

I'm at a place where I can say, YES, I still think He's good even though there's suffering. Don't get me wrong... of course I grieve, mourn, and ask questions. However I'm comforted by knowing He's a sovereign God.

Psalm 103:19 tells us "...His sovereignty rules over all." (NASB)

We will never know why there's cancer in the world, why children have to go hungry, why hearts are broken; but at the end of the day I choose to rest in knowing I serve an omnipotently gracious God that endlessly loves me and holds me in His hands.

He's a mysterious God. We will never fully understand why He does what He does until we meet Him face to face. I encourage you to rest in knowing He's sovereign and He has the whole world in His hands.

are you still there?

2011-10-04T09:01:00.003-05:00

Sometimes in life we wonder if God is still there. It can feel like He doesn't see the pain or hear our hearts cry; whether it's a physical problem like cancer, a strained relationship with your spouse or your child, a broken heart, an unanswered prayer or just the lack of hearing Him on a daily basis.

I assure you He's there. He sees the tears. He hears the prayers. His word is true. He promises us in Hebrews 13:5 "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Even though we might not understand why we're going through what we're going through, that doesn't mean He's not right there by our side. He is right there, holding our hand.

Life is not a sprint. It's a marathon. He encourages us to persevere in Romans 5...

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the ope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

As followers of Christ we are the hope of the world. Use me God to shine your hope!

curve balls of life

2011-09-14T10:03:00.006-05:00

Life is a never ending adventure. It's full of unexpected ups and downs and twists and turns. One of my first posts ever written talked about the roller coaster of life. I shared my experience of being diagnosed with breast cancer at twenty-six and how it was a crazy emotional roller coaster.

Well like I said... life is a never ending adventure. A month ago I went for a routine breast MRI. Whil I was there I mentioned to the technician a knot I had found on my right breast by my right rib. They decided to do an ultrasound as a precaution. I sat in the room waiting for the Radiologist. It felt like deja-vu.

In my mind I immediately went back eight years ago. All I kept thinking was... here we go again. The next day the doctor called and said "yes, you do have breast cancer."

This is one of those "curve balls of life." Who expects to have cancer once, much less twice? So many things have been racing through my mind and my emotions have been up and down, but my faith has remained the same.

Even though I don't understand, I trust God. His ways are higher than my ways. I know He has a specific plan and purpose for each one of us. We're all created in His image to bring glory to Him with our lives.

Use me God!

quote of the day

2010-12-09T08:51:00.001-06:00

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." C.S. Lewis

something to think about...

2010-12-08T09:10:00.001-06:00

Here's a recent post from a great girl named Mandy Steward. I work with her husband at LifeChurch.tv. She writes a blog called "Messy Canvas." Check it out!

may i use my scars

2010-11-10T16:31:00.005-06:00

Recently I made a new friend. She's a fellow breast cancer survivor. Her name is Sonja and she's an incredible woman.

Over lunch last week we were sharing our stories and she really inspired me. I loved the way she phrased her experience. She said "may I use my scars to spread hope."

Afterwards I was thinking to myself how we all have scars. We all have a story. Our hearts have been wounded in one way or another. These scars bring us to a place of brokenness. This brokenness lures us to our Heavenly Father. He's the ultimate Healer and only His touch can heal the brokenhearted. As we draw near to Him, He draws near to us. His healing touch gives us the strength to spread hope to the world.

May we ALL use our scars to spread hope!

i remember

2010-10-04T09:57:00.011-05:00

In order to know where we're going, we have to remember where we've been.

Often times I take time to reflect on where God has taken me in this journey we call life. I think about cherished moments, ugly moments, painful moments, joyful moments and so on. It's all these moments that make me who I am.

I think about the amazing people God has brought along my path that have spoken life into me, that have encouraged me, that have believed in me and mostly who have loved me. Who I am is an accumulation of these people and my experiences. As I'm reminded of these moments it all comes back to the cross and the beauty of our Savior's wondrous sacrifice.

God, in His goodness, came to us and died a maginificent death because of His love for us. He longs to be with us and use us for His Glory. Let us never forget. It reminds me of the Charlie Hall song My Drink (I Remember)...

See the blaze that burns in me
When I see you and you look at me o Lord
On you I meditate and as I pray

My soul it faints for you
You are my drink
You are my Feast
You are my love
My souls own King

Your body and your blood I remember You
Upon the cross you hung and I remember You

saved by grace

2010-09-13T09:02:00.005-05:00

As I'm sitting here working and listening to my playlist, an old song by Shane and Shane came on. It's amazing how God's grace is continually washing over us.

Just a singin' a gospel song today
Get a ready to send the years
Of guilt and shame away
The years of failing
The years of nailing up yourself
To a cross you can't bear
That's why He was there

What a beautiful day
When He washed all our sins away
What a beautiful day

By grace you have been saved
By grace you have been saved
By grace you have been saved
By grace through faith
Through faith

Even the faith I have to sing
Halle, Halle, Hallelujah to my King
It's freely given
That I might not boast in myself but Him

Can't sing it enough
Say it enough
Play it enough
When will I get it
I can't earn it
And no I don't deserve
Can't say it enough

to write love on her arms

2010-08-24T08:41:00.003-05:00

To Write Love on Her Arms is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depressions, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, insipire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery.

They're doing some incredible work. Unfortunately they've learned that two out of three people who struggle with depression never seek help, and that untreated depression is the leading cause of suicide. In America alone, it's estimated that 19 million people live with depression, and suicide is the third-leading cause of death among those 18-24 years old. Check out their site to read more about their vision and how you can help.

rosa loves

2010-06-25T11:31:00.001-05:00

What is ROSA LOVES?

We are everyday people aware of a need in our community. We realize that we are capable of performing tangible acts of service that will meet individual and immediate needs in order to affect wide scale encouragement. ROSA LOVES is an example, an inspiration, and will serve as a possible backbone to many more grassroots "love projects" around the world.We hope to encourage individual people to get involved in the community around them on a somewhat tangible scale. We will accomplish this by providing financial support to those in need by infiltrating the t-shirt industry with a new perspective of how clothing can serve a purpose other than outfitting. Everyone has a story. Everyone has a need. By using art and creativity, we hope to foster hope and encouragement through the aid of apparel. Each story will be told through stimulating graphics and actual text that will appear on the inverse of the shirt directly in line with the heart, where the ROSA LOVES movement stems from.ROSA LOVES is less about charity and more about awareness, awareness that we are all apart of something greater and are therefore joined by common threads.

needs and wants

2010-06-03T16:09:00.009-05:00

I’m reading The Servant by James C. Hunter. It’s a simple story about the true essence of leadership. In my reading this week the author made a simple, but profound point about the leader’s role. He said their role is to identify and meet the needs of their people, to serve them. He went on to say, that does not mean they should identify and meet the wants of their people or to be slaves to them.

It made me think about the way God is with us. He’s the epitome of the servant leader and because of His great love for us, often times He gives us things we need rather than what we want. He knows what’s best, which might not be what we want but what we need.

He is the potter and we are the clay. Only He knows what the masterpiece ultimately will look like, so it’s up to Him to mold us. Because we are joint heirs with the Highest King, He’s called us to reflect His image. So He’s continually molding us to look like Him.

If clay could talk, I think it would say how painful it is to be molded. When the clay is too hard the more painful it is to be shaped. However the more the servant works the clay, the more flexible the clay becomes and easier to shape. That’s how I desire to be with God. I want my heart to be softened and sensitive to His voice, so it’s not as painful when He’s molding me, “giving me what I need”, rather than what I want.

Make me pliable God.

faithful

2010-05-05T10:24:00.007-05:00

3I thank my God every time I remember you. 4In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

7It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. 8God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

9And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, 11filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. - phil 1:3-9

thought for the day

2010-03-10T21:00:00.000-06:00

The real battle in the human soul is to continue on in faithfulness even when faithfulness brings no immediate experience of joy, even when it brings no prospect of felt joy until heaven. That’s what it means to live by faith. - Larry Crabb

how he loves

2010-02-09T13:20:00.001-06:00

Here's a beautiful song by David Crowder...

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

quote

2010-01-07T08:51:00.000-06:00

"The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

we're free

2010-01-07T08:49:00.001-06:00

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor.He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God,to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion — to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,the oil of gladness instead of mourning,and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.They will be called oaks of righteousness,a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Isa 61:1-3 NIV

thought for the day

2009-12-17T07:45:00.002-06:00

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;his faithfulness continues through all generations. Ps 100:55

lead me to the cross

2009-11-12T09:25:00.004-06:00

great song by Hillsong United

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and tried
Human
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

thought for the day

2009-11-05T12:12:00.002-06:00

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matt 6:33

Do you seek Him above your greatest desire?

tear down the walls

2009-10-20T08:30:00.003-05:00

Tear down the walls see the world
Is there something we have missed
Turn from ourselves
Look beyond
There is so much more than this

And I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this
Fire burning deep inside my heart

Look to the skies hope arise
See His majesty revealed
More than this life there is love
There is hope and this is real

Cause I don’t need to see it to believe it
I don’t need to see it to believe it
Cause I can’t shake this fire burning
Deep inside my heart

This life is Yours and hope is rising
As Your glory floods our hearts
Let love tear down these walls
That all creation would
Come back to You
It’s all for You

Your Name is gloriousGlorious
Your love is changing us
Calling us
To worship in spirit and in truth
As all creation returns to You

Oh for all the sons and daughters
Who are walking in the darkness
You are calling us to lead them back to You
We will see Your spirit rising
As the lost come out of hiding
Every heart will see this hope we have in You

verse for the day

2009-09-23T10:40:00.003-05:00

I know, O Lord, that a man's life is not his own;it is not for man to direct his steps. Jeremiah 10:233 NIV

A21

2009-08-28T13:38:00.003-05:00

Human trafficking is one of the largest smuggling businesses in the world.

The overwhelming majority of those trafficked are women and children.

A21 has decided to do something about it. Their mission is to abolish injustice in the 21st century.

Join them!

missing you

2009-07-29T10:47:00.003-05:00

Here's a great song by Nick Thurmond...

It’s been so long since I have seen Your beauty
I want to see You now
It’s been so long since I have heard Your whispers

I want to hear You now
It’s been so long since I have felt You with me
I want to feel You now
It’s been so long since I have let You hold me
Father hold me now

Oh be exalted, be the King of my soul
I lay down my life and forever I’ll know
You will be there in the moment I need You
And You have been here only I couldn’t see You

I’ve been missing You I’ve been missing You

It’s been so long since I have let You lead me
I want to follow nowIt’s been so long since I have said I love You
I want to tell You now

you are my joy by david crowder

2009-07-16T09:42:00.005-05:00

And He set me on fire, and I am burning alive.
With His breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And he set me on fire and I am burning alive.
With his breath in my lungs I am coming undone.
And I cannot hold it in Remain composed.
Love's taken over me
So I propose the letting myself go.
I am letting myself go.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

I need to cath my breath, I need to.
I need to catch my breath, give me a moment now.

You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.
You are my joy.

I'm laughing so hard
And I'm laughing so hard
And I'm laughing so hard

10 Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Neh 8:10 NIV

quote

2009-06-25T10:10:00.001-05:00

Courage is not the absence of fear - it's inspiring others to move beyond it. - Nelson Mandela

early act

2009-06-02T10:35:00.005-05:00

Here's a documentary with interviews from young breast cancer survivors urging lawmakers in Washington DC to vote yes on the EARLY Act. The Breast Cancer Education and Awareness Requires Learning Young Act of 2009 or ‘EARLY Act’ will amend the Public Health Service Act to increase awareness of the risks of breast cancer in young women and provide support for young women diagnosed with breast cancer.

thought for the day

2009-05-21T09:13:00.001-05:00

you stay the same through the ages, your love never changes

thought for the day

2009-05-05T09:19:00.002-05:00

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try. - Mother Teresa

quote for the day

2009-04-29T10:11:00.001-05:00

The love of Christ both wounds and heals, it fascinates and frightens, it kills and makes alive, it draws and repulses. There can be nothing more terrible or wonderful than to be stricken with love for Christ so deeply that the whole being goes out in a pained adoration of His person, an adoration that disturbs and disconcerts while it purges and satisfies and relaxes the deep inner heart. - A.W. Tozer

thought for the day

2009-04-23T08:36:00.003-05:00

The jewel of my searching demands my life. - Charlie Hall

everything by lifehouse

2009-04-16T15:57:00.004-05:00

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?W
ould you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

henri nouwen quote

2009-04-15T09:07:00.001-05:00

“When we become aware that we do not have to escape our pains, but that we can mobilize them into a common search for life, those very pains are transformed from expressions of despair into signs of hope” - Henri Nouwen

thought for the day

2009-04-08T10:35:00.001-05:00

channel our passions into pleasing your heart.

thought for the day

2009-04-06T09:37:00.002-05:00

let our lives be the voice that's heard as one.

scenes

2009-03-24T11:09:00.001-05:00

I see You in every scene
I bet You are thinking about me
I have such a short memory
So You'll keep reminding me of You - Charlie Hall

thought for the day

2009-03-16T08:40:00.001-05:00

Teach our hands to do their part...

noticed by mute math

2009-02-17T10:37:00.003-06:00

Careful when you open
It's easy to be broken
In the strangest fashion
You start a chain reaction
When you look my way
Something's pounding away
And I wonder if I ever
felt this before

And all this time, oblivious
to what you make so obvious
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before

And you are reaching
Something that is beating
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Over and again
Racing out of my skin
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
At least it was never until I noticed

you and your ways
Capture what I've misplaced
In the perfect fashion
Just watch my heart's reaction
This point of view
is nothing that I'm used to, but I
won't close my eyes'
Cause they're on to you

And all this time,it was staring me blind
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before

And you are reaching
Something that is beating
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Over and again
Racing out of my skin
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
At least it was never until I noticed

you

The only time I ever noticed my heart
Was when I noticed you, yeah
The only time I ever noticed my heart
Was when I noticed you, yeah
You, yeah, you, yeah!

And you are reaching
Something that is beating
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Over and again
Racing out of my skin
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before'Till I noticed you, yeah
I noticed you, yeah
When I noticed you, yeahYou, yeah
When I noticed you, yeahI noticed you, yeah
That's the only time I ever noticed my heart before

thought for the day

2009-02-11T08:46:00.001-06:00

Teach us, God, to love the way you love us.

2009-01-22T09:02:00.003-06:00

“Love is doing what will enthrall the beloved with the greatest and longest joy. What will enthrall the beloved this way is the glory of God. Love means doing all we can, at whatever cost to ourselves, to help people be enthralled with the glory of God. When they are, they are satisfied and God is glorified. Therefore loving people and glorifying God are one.” - John Piper

amazed

2009-01-13T16:32:00.002-06:00

a great song by Lincoln Brewster...

You dance over me while I am unaware
You sing all around but I never hear the sound

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You

And how You love me
You paint the morning sky with miracles in mind
My hope will always stand
For You hold me in Your hand

How deep how wide
How great is Your love for me

only you

2008-12-22T09:54:00.002-06:00

Take my heart, I Lay it down
At the feet of you whose crowned
Take my life, I’m letting go
I lift it upto You who’s throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have, I’m leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
You're my delights, be my everything

And It’s just you and me here now
Only you and me here now

You should see the view
When it’s only You

thought for the day

2008-12-16T09:35:00.000-06:00

"you are bigger than we let you be." - Lee McDerment

the spero project

2008-12-02T10:43:00.002-06:00

My good friend, Kim Bandy, has started an organization called The Spero Project. Their vision is to provide information, resources, and networking opportunities to individuals and local churches, helping them meet the needs of a global community in innovative, effective, and exciting ways.

They’ve been working closely with a refugee community here in Oklahoma City. So far they’ve been building relationships with refugees from Burma, the Congo, Iraq, and many more. Check out their blog to see how you can get involved.

beautiful by phil wickham

2008-12-01T10:40:00.002-06:00

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

have you found him?

2008-11-25T10:37:00.001-06:00

Both my kids have little blankets affectionately known as “silky’s.” They were given to us as gifts when they were born. Their names are monogrammed on them and they absolutely love them; even though they’re pretty much just rags at this point. Needless to say we can’t go anywhere without them. If we do, then we’re in for a meltdown.

Well occasionally we misplace them in the house. When we do I’m on a mad hunt to find it because I’ll have a two year old on my heels crying until it’s found. It never fails I can’t find it when I look for it, so it becomes very frustrating. I’m sure you can relate on some level.

Thankfully God’s not that way. He’s not trying to play hide and seek with us. He tells us in Matthew that…

7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

He desires to have a relationship with us, but He’s a gentleman and won’t force Himself on us. He patiently waits for us to allow Him to come into our lives. He’s waiting… seek Him and you’ll find Him.

how great

2008-11-18T09:11:00.004-06:00

I'm so bored of little gods
While standing on the edge of something large
While standing here, so close to You
We could be consumed
What a glorious day

I give up, I lay down
Rest my face upon this ground
Lift my eyes to Your sky
Rid my heart of all I hide
So sweet this surrender

How great Your love for us
How great our love for You
That grace could cover us
How great Your love

How marvelous, how brilliantly
Luminous, You shine on me
And who can fail to give You awe
To fear You, God, so sovereign and strong

What a glorious day
What a wonderful day, today
What a glorious day
What a wonderful day, today
Glorious day

- by David Crowder

beautiful the blood

2008-11-12T16:10:00.000-06:00

I love the lyrics to Steve Fee's song...

I never knew death could be so sweet
I never knew surrender could feel so free
I never seen such meekness in majesty
That the blood of Jesus was bled for me

And now I sing freedom for all my days
It's only by the power of the cross I'm raised
The King of Glory rescued me

How beautiful the blood flow
How merciful the love shown
The King of glory poured out
Victorious are we now

Never knew through these nails would love unfold
And never knew these wounds would heal my soul
I've never seen such beauty and sorrow meet
The blood of Jesus was bled for me

And now I sing freedom for all my days
It's only by the power of the cross I'm raised
The King of Glory rescued me

Now I'll sing freedom for all my days
It's only by the power of the cross I'm raised
The King of Glory rescued me

How beautiful you are
How merciful you are
How glorious you are
Christ the Savior

a portrait of hope

2008-11-11T16:32:00.001-06:00

Fall quickly arrives without notice or flair…
Filled with surprises which catch unaware.
Leaves painted brightly by nature appear
Red and gold symbols of Thanksgiving near.

And it seems that the darkest of days still shine bright
Reflecting bold colors which shimmer with light.
A portrait of hope…nature brightly displays
As its beauty reminds us of blessings and praise.

Fall bids a farewell to the flowers that grow
Where winter soon covers with blankets of snow.
And new seeds are planted where blown with the wind
While we hold to Spring’s promise…new life will begin.

A portrait of hope made with masterful skill
Created by God…and not by man’s will.
For just as the seasons of nature portray
God offers His love and His mercy each day.

by Linda Mae Richardson

psalm 145

2008-11-03T09:04:00.002-06:00

I will exalt you, my God the King;I will praise your name for ever and ever. 2 Every day I will praise you and extol your name for ever and ever.

3 Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;his greatness no one can fathom. 4 One generation will commend your works to another;they will tell of your mighty acts. 5 They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,and I will meditate on your wonderful works. 6 They will tell of the power of your awesome works,and I will proclaim your great deeds. 7 They will celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

8 The LORD is gracious and compassionate,slow to anger and rich in love. 9 The LORD is good to all;he has compassion on all he has made. 10 All you have made will praise you, O LORD;your saints will extol you. 11 They will tell of the glory of your kingdom and speak of your might, 12 so that all men may know of your mighty acts and the glorious splendor of your kingdom. 13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,and your dominion endures through all generations.The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made.

14 The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. 15 The eyes of all look to you,and you give them their food at the proper time. 16 You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. 18 The LORD is near to all who call on him,to all who call on him in truth. 19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;he hears their cry and saves them. 20 The LORD watches over all who love him,but all the wicked he will destroy.

21 My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD.Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever.

the feast of life

2008-10-30T17:50:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving will be here soon. I've been thinking about how much fun it is to gather with family and enjoy a big feast. It's great waking up early to begin the marathon of cooking while everyone else waits in great anticipation for the savory meal... stomachs grumbling and mouths watering.

Finally everything is ready and everyone sits together and eats til they're ready to pop. There's hardly any conversation because we're preoccupied with shoveling food in our mouths. After stuffing ourselves we leave the table feeling more than satisfied.

Imagine what it would be like if everday was Thanksgiving. It makes me think about what Jesus said in John.

He said "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." John 6:35-36

When we walk intimately with Him our hearts will be satisfied. He's our feast of life.

lift your eyes

2008-10-15T11:10:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard someone use the expression "my heart feels heavy?"

Sometimes the weight of life can seem too much for us to bear. Everyone has a story... we all have something (for some of us it might be many somethings) that try to keep us down and hinder us from moving forward in the fullness of life. This life is full of ups & downs and twists & turns. It can be overwhelming to navigate through all the "junk."

Thankfully throughout my journey God has brought some amazing people on my path to come along side me to encourage me, give me insight, and pray for me along the way.

Since we all have our own significant life challenges we all have our own way of coming to a place of resolve and rest with our circumstances. Recently I was reading in Philippians where Paul is talking to the church in Philippi and he gives them some insight on how to overcome their struggles. Here's what he says...

...I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ — the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:8-14

Paul encourages us to "forget what is behind" and "press on toward the goal." I'm not trying to discount the significance of the challenges we face, but we have to make the choice to "press on." Jesus died for us so we can be intimate with Him and live for His purpose He has for our lives. Satan wants to hold us back and he does that by entangling us with the pain of our struggles. More than likely it won't be a miraculous transformation for most of us... it will be a continuous journey of pressing on to keep making progress forward. But thankfully we're more than conquerors through Christ.

Lift your eyes... remember the sacrifice He made for you because of His great love. As you meditate on His splendor and marvel at His miracles I pray it gives you strength through Him to "press on" and take hold of true life.

project3one workshop

2008-10-01T14:22:00.000-05:00

We're hosting our first workshop for breast cancer survivors and their spouses/caretakers on Saturday, October 25th at the Junior League Building (1001 NW Grand Blvd) in Oklahoma City. Registration begins at 8:30 am and we'll be finished by 11:30 am.

The workshop is open for anyone to attend and there's no charge. If you'd like to attend please send me your top three choices from the descriptions listed below in order of preference along with your contact information.

Here are the descriptions of the sessions:

"Breast Cancer 101"- Melissa Craft (RN PhD AOCN)
So you’ve been diagnosed with breast cancer. How do you wade through all the terms, treatment options, possible side effects, and therapy available? In this session you will learn about the “pathway” of breast cancer treatment from diagnosis to hormonal therapy (such as Tamoxifen and Aromatase Inhibitors). Information will focus on descriptions of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy with discussion about what you can expect from each treatment.

FOR WOMEN ONLY: "Intimate Issues" –Sarah McLean (Breast Cancer Survivor)
Research shows 20% to 60% of breast cancer survivors suffer from depression after battling cancer. Along with loss of sexual desire and self-image issues, depression following a breast cancer diagnosis can cause huge strains on our relationships. Join Sarah as she shares her journey of discovery through the impact breast cancer has on intimacy.

FOR MEN ONLY: "Help…My wife has breast cancer!" – Steve McLean (Spouse of Breast Cancer Survivor)
Guys, this one is for you. What do you when your wife is fighting one of the toughest battles of her life? And what about the effect her diagnosis has on you? Join Steve as he shares his story and offers some helpful tips to better support your wife and you through his journey.

"My breast cancer treatment is over: Now What?" – Melissa Craft (RN PhD AOCN)
Once the treatment is finished, many breast cancer survivors are surprised by the anger, sadness, and frustration they now feel. After all, shouldn’t you be celebrating because you’ve survived and completed treatment? In this session we will address common responses to this stage of breast cancer survivorship and methods to work through this phase. One specific method we will demonstrate is how easy (and painless!) it can be to use pen and paper as a prescription for better health. Studies suggest writing about traumatic experiences is beneficial in reducing depression, anxiety, and even promotes health benefits.

"Understanding and Coping with Grief" – Mary Jane Hall (Grief Counselor / Cancer Spouse & Caretaker)
Losing someone or something you love is very painful — and it’s something that almost everyone will experience at some point in their lives. Loss that goes unacknowledged or unattended can result in disability. But grief that is expressed and experienced has a potential for healing that eventually can strengthen and enrich life. There is no right or wrong way to grieve — but there are ways to make your grieving more complete and more positive. Join Mary Jane as she shares some practical tools to cope with your grief.

"Food and Fitness" – Steve Clausan (Certified Personal Trainer)
What you eat (or what you don’t eat) and how active you are have a drastic effect on your quality of life. In this session you will learn guidelines for diet and exercise as well as tips for a healthy lifestyle all geared toward those affected by cancer.

the curve balls of life

2008-09-25T10:25:00.007-05:00

Life is a never ending adventure. It's full of unexpected ups and downs and twists and turns. One of my first posts I ever wrote talked about the roller coaster of life. I shared my experience of being diagnosed with breast cancer at twenty-six and how it was a crazy emotional roller coaster.

Well like I said... life is a never ending adventure. A month ago I went for a routine breast MRI. While I was there I mentioned to the technician a knot I found on my right rib near my breast, so they decided to do an ultrasound to make sure it wasn't anything. As I sat in the room waiting for the radioligist I felt like I was having deja vu.

In my mind I immediately went back eight years ago when I was diagnosed in the same imaging center. All I kept thinking was... here we go again. The next day I received a call from the radiologist saying "yes, I do have cancer." Interestingly this was a different type of breast cancer. It wasn't related to the first time. I'm just one of those "lucky" people.

Fast forward to today. I've had surgery to remove the mass. Unfortunately I developed a hematoma (blood pocket) after surgery, so it's been a slow healing process. The oncologist ran a new test they've developed since the first time I had cancer that tests the biology of the tumor and makes a recommendation whether chemo would increase my survival rate. Thankfully my result came back in the dead center, so chemo wouldn't benefit me long term, so I'm doing radiation and a drug called Tamoxifen.

All in all it's a good protocol. I'm just trying to wade thru the challenges of going into menopause due to the medication. I should start radiation in the near future once the hematoma is completely healed.

Thankfully my faith hasn't been shaken. This is one of those curve balls of life. Who thinks they'll be diagnosed twice in their lifetime with cancer? It's not something we can predict or plan for. However more than ever I know God is sovereign and He has a specific purpose for each one of us. This is just part of my journey that will ultimately bring glory to Him.

the perfect gift

2008-09-23T17:29:00.000-05:00

These are my munchkins. Colin will be four this November and Tatum will be three in March. They're sixteen months apart.

I know, I know... you're probably thinking I'm nuts for having them so close together. Needless to say our house is pretty eventful with two toddlers running around.

It's not easy trying to juggle all the balls from being a wife, mother and working full time. But God's mercy is new every day and His grace is sufficient. Thank goodness!

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by the chaos and I find myself becoming anxious, so I try to find a quiet place to calm my mind. God reminded me recently "they're my gift to you." When the craziness starts now I'm trying to remember what a precious blessing they truly are.

Every good and perfect gift is from above... James 1:17

new year

2008-09-15T19:00:00.003-05:00

Charlie Hall recently released a new CD. It's amazing. You should check it out. One of the songs that's really spoken to me is called New Year.

NEW YEAR
My heart beats like a drum
Flying up with the sun
I grab your hand again

Renovated with life
My eyes again bright
And you are radiant

Where hope can hold the hand of sorrow
And we can walk into tomorrow

Where peace is found in troubled days
And the joy of Jesus carries pain

This is a new year
This is a new day to rise, shine
Lift up your eyes

This is a new year
This is a new day to rise, shine
And point the way to God’s great life

I’m held in a place
A beautiful space
Where Heaven meets the Earth

My heart opens wide
And the Father pours life deep inside my soul

"slow and easy"

2008-09-11T12:39:00.000-05:00

The first time I met him, Steve's grandfather, we all went to dinner at a little German restaurant in a small town in Michigan. I remember it was a cold and rainy night. Inside the restaurant they had a small dance floor that was lit by a fire keeping the place warm. In the background a couple of guys played old big band tunes. Steve's grandad asked me to dance.

As we headed to the dance floor he asked me if I knew how to fox trot. I thought to myself "Oh crap, I have no clue." He took my hand and started to lead me across the dance floor. I kept stepping on his feet. I was so embarrassed. He just smiled and sweetly said "just take it slow and easy." He was trying to gently encourage me to relax, have fun and enjoy the moment. As I began to let go and follow his lead I was able to get the hang of it. That turned out to be a very memorable evening.

It was eight years ago when he told me that and I've never forgotten it. I have a tendency to always be in a hurry and it's very hard for me to slow down. God's been showing me it's to my detriment when I make the choice to allow busyness to dictate my decisions. I miss moments.

I'm reminded of the story Luke told about Mary and Martha...

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" 41 "Martha , Martha ," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:38-42

Life's short enough. I don't need to make it any shorter by hurrying it along. So I'm conciously trying to put things down, say "no" more, and allow myself time to savor the important moments of life and take it "slow and easy."

remain in my love

2008-08-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

Where's the safest, sweetest, most comforting place we could ever be?... in the loving arms of Jesus. So how do we stay there? Here's what Jesus said...

9 "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love . 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love , just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." John 15:9-11

So basically he said to obey Him... that's how we remain in His love. Sounds fairly easy? Unfortunately it's not that easy for me. Sometimes God asks us to do things we don't want to do, and it can be difficult to obey. Even Jesus didn't want to endure the cross, but He knew that's what God had called him to do. It's impossible for our carnal minds to comprehend the omnipotence of Christ, but that's why He gave us His holy spirit to give us comfort.

When we accept Christ as our Savior, He gives us a new life. However our spirit man still resides in our fleshly shell. We still function with the same mind, will, and emotions. Only now our Spirit is the one that has control if we choose to listen to His direction. That's the key, we have to make the choice to obey. If we choose to obey, then our heart stays connected closely to God.

Our joy isn't contingent upon our circumstances... it's contingent upon our heart condition. When we're walking intimately with Christ we desire to be obedient because we love Him so deeply. His love is overwhelming we can't help but overflow with joy.

Are you remaining in His love?

bucket list

2008-08-06T17:05:00.001-05:00

Recently I watched The Bucket List starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. If you haven't seen the film it's about two men who become unlikely friends through their battles with cancer.

As they become friends Morgan Freeman's character shares his list of things he'd like to do before he "kicks the bucket..." hence the title. Jack Nicholson's character is cynical and hard hearted, so he kind of makes a joke out of it. As they continue to spend time together he realizes the impact relationships have on life.

So it made me think... What would be on my bucket list? Here are a few things I came up with:

Say what I need to say to the people I love.
Watch the sunset on a beach in Fiji.
Have an authentic Italian dinner in Tuscany.
Sit outside a French Cafe watching the rain while sipping a latte.
Take my babies to Disneyworld.
Speak on a national level raising awareness for the emotional needs of breast cancer survivors.
Take a tour of Europe and swing by the village where I lived in Germany.
Get some more tattoos.
See U2 and Sting in concert... not together.
Learn to play the acoustic guitar.

What's on your bucket list?

"something always brings me back to you"

2008-06-17T16:52:00.008-05:00

Have you ever read the story of Job?

If you haven't let me tell you a little about him. He was righteous, affluent, and loved God wholeheartedly. One day Satan asked God for permission to ruin him. God, knowing how Job would respond, allowed Satan to unleash on Job. As the story goes on Job loses everything... his ten children, his cattle, his riches. His wife advises Job to "curse God," so the suffering will stop. Listen to what Job told her...

"You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" "
Job 2:10

Wow, the truth hurts sometimes! Often times it seems like we just want things from God (we want him to answer our prayer, we want Him to fix our problem, we want Him to take away the pain, we want him to bless us), but I don't think we fully understand the power God can reveal to us through trials.

Job could have easily turned away from God and some would say he even had reason to turn from God, but Job didn't see it that way. He had a supernatural love for his heavenly father that he couldn't turn away from him. This love was so strong it always brought him back to the one thing that could sustain him... the unconditional love of God.

God desires to be the lover of our soul if we'll allow Him. I'm amazed how His love always lures me back to Him, whether it's in good times or bad. He's always the same. Honestly it's in the hard times when I find myself falling more in love with Jesus. I want to get to a place where I'm drowning in His love. The more I surrender my life, the more freedom He has to show Himself to me.

beautiful disaster

2008-04-17T11:47:00.005-05:00

Do you ever feel like God's not fair?

Habakkuk was a prophet who was frustrated with God because he knew God had the power and ability to change the circumstances his nation was facing, but God did something unexpected. This is what He told him...

5 "Look at the nations and watch — and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5

See I think Habakkuk assumed what God would do, but he didn't seem to embrace the sovereignty of God. As the story continues God explains to Habakkuk He's going to use the evil people to destroy the nation. "What?... that seem so backwards, right?"

Well God tells us His ways aren't our ways and His ways are higher than our ways. We only know in part, but He knows in full. That's where trust comes in. We have to know in the deepest part of ourselves that God is good and He only desires what's best for us.

In our carnal minds we define "best" a little differently than God sometimes. At the end of the book, Habakkuk comes to a place of contentment in Christ and surrenders in worship because He truly believes God has a plan and He's in complete control. It was a "beautiful disaster."

In life we often want things to change or go away. It's not easy to face pain or recognize things might never change or it might be contingent upon our willingness to change. God's been challenging me with the question "Would you still love me the same if things never change?"

What about you... is there something you're waiting to change before you wholeheartedly surrender to Him and allow Him to love you and show you His plan for your life?

what is project3one?

2007-10-09T21:45:00.000-05:00

According to the American Cancer Society an estimated 178,480 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to occur among women in the United States during 2007. While there are plenty of programs dedicated to physical recovery, there is virtually no support for emotional healing. As a breast cancer survivor I can attest to this personally.

Throughout my recovery I desperately needed support to help me cope with the loss of the most intimate part of a woman’s body, not to mention all the emotional hurdles that go with it. After seeking guidance from a professional psychologist I began the journey to complete healing… both physically, but most of all emotionally and spiritually. Now my passion is to give women without the financial means the support to seek counseling through the non-profit organization Project thirty-one (Project3One).

The name is derived from the 31st Chapter from the book of Proverbs in the Bible. This book talks about the woman of noble character. It says “beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

While our bodies might not be physically whole; our hearts are still the same. The healing of our hearts will resonate through our character. As we are healed we can’t help, but extend grace and love to those who are hurting.

Project3One exists to provide funds to women in need of professional counseling. Our goal is to provide support by:

Embracing the emotional pain that comes with a diagnosis as serious as cancer.
Embracing the profound effect this diagnosis has on your life.
Embracing what this means as a woman.

Equipping women with the tools to learn how to cope with their pain.
Equipping women with the support of someone who can guide them to a place of inner healing.

Empowering women to live a fully restored life.
Empowering women to share the valuable insight they’ve gained with others.

Please join us in the journey to extend healing to women all over the world!

A Franciscan Benedection

2007-09-24T13:08:00.000-05:00

Recently I read this prayer that really left an impact on me...

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain in to joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.

So do you have enough foolishness?

influence

2007-08-27T16:43:00.000-05:00

Lately I've been thinking a lot about influence. What does it mean to influence someone?

The dictionary defines influence as the action or process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, or opinions of another.

Jesus tells us "we're the salt of the Earth." That means as Christ followers we are called to be different, to be influencers. God uses us to bring "flavor" to the world.

I was reading about salt and found something pretty interesting. It said Sodium and chlorine, the two components of salt, are necessary for the survival of all living creatures, including humans.

I think it's amazing how God doesn't do anything by mistake. He knew when he told the disciples on the mountainside to be the salt of the Earth that their influence would be an essential part of changing peoples lives eternally.

People crave salt because they need it to live just like they crave to understand and embrace the love of Christ they see in us. That's what it means to be the "salt of the Earth."

pool of siloam

2007-08-09T20:36:00.000-05:00

Breast cancer typically strikes after the age of 50, leading people to believe breast cancer is only the concern of women middle-aged or older. But of the 200,000 women diagnosed every year, 11,000 of them are UNDER 40. Most of these ladies don’t know anyone else their age that’s had the disease, and they feel isolated in their very different challenges such as motherhood, fertility concerns, and intimate issues.

This is exactly how I’ve felt. Like I’ve said before it’s been challenging to say the least, but I’ve realized sometimes life throws us “curve balls.” That doesn’t mean we can’t swing, though. God’s taught me I have a choice.

It reminds me of the story of healing of the blind man in the ninth chapter of John…

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. 4 As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. 5 While I am in the world, I am the light of the world." 6 Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man's eyes. 7 "Go," he told him, "wash in the Pool of Siloam" (this word means Sent). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing. John 9:1-7

Lately I’ve been reading Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus, and he points out a profound insight from this passage. He explains how God put mud on the man’s eyes and told him to go to the pool of Siloam which means Sent. It was both by name and by metaphor the place of obedience.

Erwin also said when Jesus commanded the man to go to the place called Sent, to leave with his prayers unfulfilled, with his needs unmet, with his questions unanswered, in many ways he left in a worse condition than before.

How many of us are waiting for God to heal us before we’ll go? Do you think maybe there’s a place you might need to go in order to experience the fullness of God in your life?

My experience with cancer has been my “mud on the eyes” experience. Before I got sick I was living in a safe little cocoon I had built for myself. I didn’t like to take risks or to go where something was unknown to me. But God gave me a choice. He asked me if I was willing to take the journey to my “pool of Siloam.” At first I resisted, but now my answer is wholeheartedly “yes.”

I have no doubt this experience has happened so the work of God might be displayed in me.

It might sound like this has been an easy process for me, but trust me it’s been anything but. My hope for you is this passage will change your mindset and open your heart for God to heal you.

beauty from ashes

2007-08-08T19:37:00.000-05:00

How do you define beauty?

Websters Dictionary defines beauty as the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind.

Deep satisfaction to the mind... hmmmm? I guess I've usually defined beauty as something pleasing to the eye like a sunset, the ocean or a piece of art. The more I've pondered the definition of beauty I've been able to see God teaching me how to see different facets of true beauty that I didn't see before. Now I see the beauty of a woman carrying a child in her womb, the beauty of a father playing catch with his son or the beauty of an elderly couple slow dancing.

The Bible talks about "making beauty from ashes." What does that mean? To me it means seeing the beauty in what was meant for death. Most people wouldn't think it was beautiful to go through something challenging like cancer. Throughout my journey I've been through a whirlwind of emotions. I've felt sad at times, ugly, not whole as a woman and like I'm a guest in this new body. These emotional changes have challenged me to ask myself some hard questions.

I realized if I wanted to have a healthy mindset then I was going to have to endure some growing pains in order to grow through this experience. Throughout the past year I've worked hard to discover who I really am. This has been an amazing journey of healing. Honestly I probably wouldn't have gotten to this place with myself if I had not been sick. Through my illness I've seen God transform my life. I believe He's made "beauty from ashes." Now I understand what it means to have deep satisfaction in my mind. It's a freedom like I've never known.

How has God done this in your life?

it's not all about me

2007-07-31T14:15:00.000-05:00

Throughout the past few years my husband, Steve, has continually sacrificed his time and effort to care for me. After my double mastectomy I had a hard time doing things for myself. He was there to help me get dressed when I couldn't lift my arms above my head or when I couldn't bathe in the shower. I couldn't have survived without him.

I'm blessed immensely to have such a giving partner. I've learned so much through his example. My recovery took about a year with the reconstruction to be completed. During this time most of the attention was always on me. Unfortunately I became self absorbed without realizing it. I was so used to being cared for I didn't think twice about the one caring for me.

When we're married we're one with our spouse. We've vowed to be there through sickness and in health. Sometimes we lose sight of our commitment because of our circumstances. That's what I was doing. I was taking, taking, taking.

God showed me I wasn't the only one going through a hard time. He asked me "how do you think Steve feels?" Honestly up until that point I hadn't really thought about how he must feel. If I put myself in his shoes I would be devastated at the thought of possibly losing my life partner. I would be scared. I'd probably feel helpless knowing there was nothing I could do to control the situation. My heart sank because of my lack of consideration for him.

I went to Steve and apologized. We talked about the struggles he had gone through and I began to realize I really wasn't alone. He was battling too. If you've found yourself in a similar situation don't forget your caregiver.

That's how Jesus is with us. He's the ultimate caregiver. If you've been consumed with yourself trying to figure everything out I encourage you to lay it at the feet of Jesus. Pour out your heart to Him. He's waiting for the opportunity to have a relationship with us. He desires to use our lives for His purpose. We're created in His image to bring glory to Him because it's not about us. It's only about Him!

positive thinking or eternal perspective?

2007-07-05T20:41:00.000-05:00

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

Have you ever wondered how the same experience can effect people so differently? When I walked through my battle with breast cancer people would tell me "you're so strong and I don't know if I could make it through the way you did."

The truth is I wasn't that strong. During that time God really began to teach me what it means "for His strengh to be made perfect in my weakness." Up until this time I had tried to control every aspect of my life. Honesly I didn't really know what it meant to fully trust God. Now I found myself in a position I couldn't control.

Normally when I was in a challenging situation I would cope with positive thinking. I would "mentally coach" myself through the problem. Well I vividly remember my doctor calling that day to tell me the results were positive. Suddenly the reality of a life threatening illness infecting my body became frightening.

I started my typical "coping mechanisim" by telling myself "everything was alright, I was going to be fine, and I'm too young to die." It didn't take me long to realize God wanted to show me something more. It's hard to articulate, but I'm sure those of you that have found yourselves in similar situations would understand.

I've always loved the passage in Philippians 4 where Paul encourages us to "4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Since my positive thinking wasn't giving me the normal remedy I'd hoped for, I figured I would talk to God about it. He led me to this passage. I decided I would start meditating on scripture and allow God's truth to penetrate my heart, so I posted different verses all throughout my house.

Over and over I read "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and mind." As I really thought about it I started to truly believe it. For the first time I completely surrendered my heart and God's peace washed over me. My mind was renewed with His word. It was no longer about "positive thinking." It was about walking in the mind of Christ. Taking hold of the promises He's given all of us and embracing them as truth.

How have you grown to trust God?

...a mist

2007-06-26T16:34:00.000-05:00

We recently went to Destin, FL for our annual family vacation. It was incredible. I didn't want to leave.

While we were there I started thinking about the amount of time we work just to have a small break. Life is so short. The book of James in the Bible talks about our lives being a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. So why do we try to make it fly by that much faster with all our "business?"

Normally I'm the type that won't sit down until the house is clean, the clothes are folded, and everything on my "to do" list is crossed off. But I've turned over a new leaf. Now I'm intentionally trying to ask myself "is it really worth my time?" For example... this morning I was making the bed and my little girl, Tatum, was tugging on my skirt because she wanted me to hold her. I sweetly told her to "wait a minute, honey." Then God gently reminded me she's only that little for a moment. I won't always have the chance to snatch her up and squeeze her. So I laid down the pillows and picked her up. All she wanted was me to stop and pay attention to her. My love was all she needed.

That's what Jesus longs for. He longs to spend time with us. We are His pride and joy and our lives would be so much better if we'd stop and spend our time where it's the most important.

When was the last time you stopped, and crawled in His lap?

twists and turns

2007-05-24T22:20:00.000-05:00

Ever since I was a little girl I've loved roller coasters. I love the anticipation of rising the first hill waiting for the top. Then you take a deep breath and lose your stomach as you sail down the slope. All the twists and turns give me a sick feeling, but it's still thrilling at the same time.

If you think about it, that's so weird... Why would anyone think that's enjoyable? The thought of voluntarily putting myself in a situation that scares me enough to make me sick. At the same time leaving me with an indescribable rush... a rush so amazing I can't wait for another ride.

It's like our journey with Christ. We're all on our own ride. God gave us this life. He gave us free will. We can choose to remain in a little bubble controlling our lives with our own agendas or we can choose to "let go" and let God take the wheel. Let me warn you if you do "let go"... it'll be the ride of your life!

I believe God desires to give us fullness of life, but what does that mean? Does it mean a life free of heartache, struggle, pain, hurt, and doubt?... I don't think so. In reality it probably includes all that and more like freedom in Christ, grace, true love, forgiveness, mercy, satisfaction in our souls and purpose. But we'll never know that fullness unless we're willing to "let go" and allow ourselves to go through the twists and turns.

I decided the "risk of getting sick" was worth the thrill of the ride. Since then God's been teaching me what it means to truly live by faith. He's taught me His ways aren't my ways. His plans aren't my plans, but He's the author and finisher of my life so I decided I better let him take control.

Now that I've allowed Him to take control my life has continued to have "twists and turns." One twist in particular was being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003. I'll just say I wasn't expecting that one, but I'm still enjoying the ride. You might ask "how?..." because I know who I'm riding with.

Tell me about one of your "twists and turns."

why?

2007-05-24T12:16:00.000-05:00

I've thought about creating a blog for a while, but I kept asking myself "why?..."

Well Steve and I are passionate about relationships. God's birthed a desire in us to intentionally nurture the relationships He's given us, so this seems to be a great outlet.

So why are relationships so important to us? because we probably wouldn't have made it this far without those special people. Throughout the past six years we've had many ups and downs. Let's just say it's been eventful to say the least.

Our family and friends have always been there to support us, to listen to us, to lean on when we're burdened, and to rejoice with us. These people mean the world to us.

Relationships are what life's truly about. Afterall Christ came to Earth to be among us... to have relationship with us. When we build genuine, authentic relationships with one another we're seeing a glimpse of God's glory.

How have your relationships impacted your life?